You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
