Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
