I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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