I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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