he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
