my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
