love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
