Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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