Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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