I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just had sex on a roof
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
