I got chris browned last night
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
