u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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