Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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