i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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