I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
kristin has been a bad kristin
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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