Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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