Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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