I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
