He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
