ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
