Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
