a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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