A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
