I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Pooping to opera.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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