so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
