idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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