I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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