I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
