It's Friday. Sex?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
