you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
