Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it was like his penis was on wheels.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
