Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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