i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
