I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
