Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
