Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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