Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
