Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
