I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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