I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
