just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
