Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
