I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize