brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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