Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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