Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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