my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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