Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize