we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
