Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
