i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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