I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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