Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize