Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
