she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My vagina just recognized that song.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My bed smells like the plague
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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