And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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