That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
