Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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