The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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