Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
