She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
