Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
