i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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